What actually happened?
In our TIN-communities it seems that there were always ideals, which connected us – for example Self-determination, free informed decisions or “expertise in your own matter” for your individual health. Empowering worked through these shared goals and principles.
A critical and questioning attitude to the medical system, which has not all humans and bodies equally in view and is conducted from financial and organizational rather than from health considerations in many places, connected us with many TIN-people.
The more one’s own constitution deviated from the legal norms, it was really important to find system-critically medical professionals and own, alternative ways of healing and staying healthy.
With regard to Corona we suddenly had to hear from friends and fellow activists,
- that our standing to bodily self-determination and free informed decision is not based on solidarity,
- that one and the same medical treatment is equally good for all people and bodies, necessary and safe,
- that doubt of security and the healing promises of certain medical preparations or treatments went in the direction of conspiracy theories,
- that the hard worked knowledge about our personal health needs, also every necessarily outside the mainstream collected medical informations, who deviated from the official, were oaths.
That our doubts and oaths are now gradually proving to be quite correct, is not helpful in coming to terms what happened.
It seems that the deviation to suddenly be perceived as a problem in our non-normative circles, also the deviation from the mainstream, which we have experienced as problematic in our history as TIN-persons. At the same time it seems a conversational tone became normal, appropriate and acceptable, and – in our perception – partly wished, to which belonged, to gossip about people, which saw something different with reference to corona or handled it otherwise, to judge them across the board, to attribute to them “being right wing”, uninformed, dangerous, etc instead of asking them about their motives.
After all these experiences is difficult for us, to come back to the feeling, that we can trust certain shared values and attitudes. For example not judging, not to insult, not to exclude.
And of course:
Not all of our friends who comply with the measures said or done the things listed.
Mostly they do not speak to one of us directly, but rather on the side, as if we all agreed: This is how you talk, judge and gossip about people who have different opinions. Or they spoken disparagingly about third parties who were not present, because they did not know, that they spoken about us.
Sometimes our problem was simply that these words, convictions, generalizations, etc. in general – unrelated to people – and were expressed every time without ceasing and were disseminated at all levels … and our friends expressed nothing to that. As if they had not heard it, as if they hadn’t noticed the tone and manner of dealing with one another, as if the whole generalization, simplification, contempt and exclusion seemed to them to be completely normal or, in the context of Corona, absolutely appropriate.
“Masks on – Nazis out”* [* frequently seen banner and wall slogan]
The vast majority of people, also under TIN, who found it easy to wear masks themselves, have derived that this goes for all people and that their “refusal” is nothing as ruthlessness and selfishness
Sayings like “do not bother”, “it is just a short period” remind some of us evil on appeasements from other contexts: Abuse, assault, also in medical terms. But like many things our discomfort around the topic of Corona was not important. On the contrary: It was seen as causeless defiance, interpreted as openess for being right wing, treated as the stupidity of a small child to be taught and much more. We should just “function”.
The mask requirement was one of the biggest stress factors for mostly everyone of us during the last three years. Especially because it seemed impossible to convey to our familiar environment, that this could be a serious problem. It seemed to be unimportant for mask requirement advocates, that everyone, for whom wearing a mask was even more impaired or even unbearable, was excluded from important things and empowerment – although they had otherwise always clearly positioned themselves against exclusions based on special physical or psychological needs.
Not taken seriously is a feeling, which we had not known from our TIN-contexts. Attitudes like “you’re just imagining it,” “that little bit of material – it is nothing!” and “I also do it, so can you and you have to do it” would hardly have been considered appropriate in the past for us. And are not appropriate in other context and rightfully – but not with this topic.
Fall silent
Because of the mask requirement it was impossible for us over nearly three years to take part on demonstrations (unless you intentionally wanted to discredit them). For those who felt restricted or simply due to the changed legal situation, in their fundamental rights, he/she/they would very quickly have been attributed a closeness to “lateral thinking”, the AfD, etc – if he/she/they had said something.
Most of us did not say anything loudly, which would have been perceived differently. The fear of being excluded from important groups, lose connections and spaces, although they did no longer appear like “safe spaces” for us, was too big. Others said something – and were excluded from groups, provided with “warning messages” as a supposed Nazi, discredited.
It happened quickly, that every kind of criticism of measures was lumped together with uninformedness, lack of solidarity, egoism, distance from science and the danger to vulnerable people and nothing can be seen differentiated or allowed to handled in different ways. Because our TIN-connections until then were places, where we could discuss (deviating from the norm) health issues and exchanged about problems with a normative medicine system, we lost something essential.
Are we allowed to think different? This is exactly what has been denied to us. Even when writing this text, we sometimes hesitate: Is it a certain wording, or an aspect, not too much of a “stimulating word”? Can we say this without being labeled as whatever? Or are we heared by someone, does our perception also want to know how we are and how we were doing?
Where did our Community that previously valued differences so much disappeared? Suddenly we were the enemy – not the mainstream, the cis-heteronormativity, but us. This still hurts. How did this happen so quickly and how can we get out of this? On both sides, on all sides. We should talk about it. We try this, but our actual experience is: The topic is now avoided entirely, it is considered “completed”. Again we are not heard, it is another type of “do not bother”, “it is just a short period”, “it was not that bad”. We hear many reasons, why it had been this way and was justified – or we hear nothing. Silence.
Something other than that would do us good. Exchange, a beginning, honest communication, get in touch again … You are welcome to write to us (corinne 1000@gmx.net) and come to our meetings.
